Transpersonal Relationship Counselling
Our intimate relationships are fundamental to our wellbeing. They become an environment in which we unfold from throughout our lives and this stimulates and supports our growth as human beings either positively or negatively.
Our most intimate relationships have the potential for the greatest joy as well as our greatest emotional pain. Most people struggle to identify what a healthy relationship looks like, which leaves it to the models we have learnt from in life, namely our parents, our main influencers.
Part of the relationship journey is that as we become closer, we reveal more and more of who we really are, including the parts of us which need acceptance, love and healing. We disclose intimate aspects of ourselves to our partner that we don’t usually show to anyone else.
We see parts of the other which may be difficult to accept or like. When we open ourselves to one another in this way we become vulnerable, and if not received in a complete manner by the other we can react to this with defensiveness or withdrawal.
I believe everyone needs to have their own personal toolkit designed for your needs and the needs and the support of the relationship.
We are programmed to do what we know, which means if you don’t know what makes a great relationship you may experience some problems in your relationship.
Creating a Healthier and More Rewarding Relationship.
When the hurt and defensiveness become so great, couples find it difficult to heal the wounds and move forwards by themselves. They may find themselves in patterns of behaviour and communication that are cyclical and feel they are on a constant merry go round. This can create the relationship to lose connection with each other and become more and more distant as time moves on, eventually becoming totally unplugged with no connection.
As a trained and empathic Counsellor my objective is to unpack the accumulated baggage that has created the cycles of frustration, dysfunction and disconnection and get to what issues reside at the core level and rebuild from the foundation a healthier, happier more solid relationship.
There is a hope for relationships and marriages even when they have even reached points of great difficulty and separation.
Most just want to return to the way the relationship used to be, but have it become deeper, stronger, more loving and meaningful than it has ever been. As individuals we are offered the potential of personal growth and healing which goes beyond the relationship to include the relationship we have with our own self. The trials and tribulations that a couple goes through can emerge as positive events which stimulate growth individually and into the relationship.
What happens in relationship counselling?
You will be supported to rediscover or create a new meaning and purpose in your relationship or marriage. Creating a healthier foundation to build upon by constructing a solid framework that consists of understanding values, needs and wants of the relationship. This leads to opening and awakening your connection to each other and begins to dissolve the barriers to intimacy with sensitivity and respect and knowing how to relate to each other in a more constructive and positive manner, rather than in a negative destructive manner.
The counselling occurs in a safe, neutral space in which each person can feel heard and understood. The presence of someone who supports both partners equally, naturally facilitates an atmosphere of co-operation.
You are both given plenty of space to share your own perspective and position.
As a couple you become more aware of the ways in which your communication is no longer effective. As you both take responsibility for your own parts in this process, the communication styles will change to support more care, honesty, vulnerability and intimacy. You will explore the deeper layers of what is occurring for both of you. It’s an opportunity to shift patterns, heal wounds and belief systems which may have been affecting you for much of your life. It is an opportunity to support each other to overcome and master your own self-defeating habits.
As the process unfolds we may explore relevant elements of each individual’s story.
This is similar to individual counselling with the addition of the partner observing and participating in the process.
This allows that partner to see, feel, and understand the history and context in which the other is behaving or reacting. It builds compassion for the partner and gives context to some behaviours which might seem like overreactions or unfair. This counselling process is an intimate union between direct couple work and the facilitation of each partner’s individual healing journey.
The relationship counselling process uses the tools and strategies of Transpersonal Therapy. It offers the benefits of a traditional relationship counselling approach but also has tools, techniques and perspectives which are much broader and deeper having greater potential for deep lasting change. You will learn to explore and become more aware of certain aspects of yourself beyond thinking and talking. You will have an opportunity to get in touch with and express the deeper emotions. You will discover new tools, sources of wisdom, or aspects of yourself which have been undeveloped. The kinds of tools and practices which are employed are tailored to your needs and what feels comfortable or meaningful for both of you.
Supports Different Types of Relationships
Most commonly the people who come to relationship counselling are couples in a romantic relationship or marriage who are having difficulties and want to remain together. However, this counselling process is also effective for other circumstances or types of relationship, where many of the principles and basic processes described above still apply.
Divorce / Separation Counselling
Where a couple ending their marriage or relationship want to retain an amicable connection through the transition of the relationship. This is particularly important in a marriage where children are involved.
This can assist a couple to clarify the marriage commitment they are about to make and to enter the marriage with clarity, grounding and direction. It helps the couple to become clear about each other’s expectations, hopes and concerns about the commitment they are planning to make through marriage as well as learn strategies to support the relationship. This process can set the foundation for a successful and long-lasting marriage. Counselling support is also available for couples who wish to embark on a non-traditional marriage or some other form of commitment ceremony.
The Benefits of Transpersonal Relationship Counselling:
It is important to understand that counselling will only truly benefit when you are open to wanting to learn and are willing to make the necessary shifts and changes that can transform your life for the better.
This is a working relationship, meaning, it’s a two-way process and you will need to meet your therapist half way. There is work you will be required to do, a call to action, this is what assists with the overall transformation.
If this is something you feel resonates with you I look forward to meeting and working with you!
We can work in person or via Skype sessions, if your location is an issue.
Fill in your details below and I will contact you to discuss how we get started!